Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
The police officer tells him : "Hey, that's a nice bike. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Little Johnny : "Yeah, he did."
Police officer replies "Well next year, tell him to put some reflective panels on it" while handing little johnny a 50 dollar fine.
Little Johnny, angry, asks the police officer : "Hey, that's a nice horse. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Amused, the police officer replies that Santa did indeed bring him that horse, to which little Johnny replies : "Well next year, tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse."
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
So the English guy goes "Alright then. Play this" and hands him a guitar. The octopus plays it better than Jimi Hendrix, better than Chuck Berry, better than anyone and hands him back the guitar.
The Irishman says "Okay, how about this?" and shows him to the piano. The octopus sits down and plays it like never before - Better than Jerry Lee Lewis and Elton John. The best pianist ever.
Finally, a Scotsman says "Alright, let's see ya play this then" and hands him a set of bagpipes. The octopus looks at them and fumbles with them. Couple more minutes and he's still struggling and there's no sound coming out. Couple more minutes and still nothing so the Scotsman says "Oh, so can you not play it then?"
And the octopus says "Play it? I'm gonna fuck her when I get her pyjamas off"
Friday, April 22, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
First a little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue." Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange."
The second little boy says, "Trees are definitely green." "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."
Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks, "Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says, "Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"OK. Then I DEFINITELY shit my pants."